Optimistic

After going along with my gut feeling I can't help but to feel sad. It seems anytime I really start to like someone and want to take things to another level it doesn't work. Every time. I feel like I'm destined to be single. But in reality it'll only take that one person to change things for me. And thats all I need. Damn that one person and where ever he is hiding. I'm really getting tired of the whole single life. Want someone I can go and do things with, like take a vacation. I do have great friends that keep me occupied but that only helps so much. Maybe I just need to put myself out there more. But my thing is where does one go to meet new guys? I mean normal guys. Ones that don't drink a lot and aren't immature and stupid. I'm a very simple kinda gal. I mean little things make me happy. I'm not looking for someone to come into my life and take care of me. I take care of myself. I have my own job and make my own money. Don't ask anyone to buy me anything. If there is something I really want I will get it without the help of anyone else. That makes me independent. That should be a plus. I just want someone I can lean on. Open myself up to which I never do. I'm ready to do that with the right person of course. And when I feel comfortable. Which is something I told BC and he told me that I should feel comfortable. :(. I did too. When I was with him things were great. But thats when I was next to him. When we weren't around each other. We'd just text. Which was fine. But I haven't heard from him in a couple days. Sucks. But I can't let it get me down. Just I find myself thinking about the last time I saw him. How it didn't seem like he didn't care or didn't want to be with me. Every time I spent with him I never felt like that. I felt needed. Comfortable. Relaxed. Happy. Couldn't get me to stop smiling. Ugh why its bothering me. Like its eating away at me. I did a terrible job at guarding myself this time. Stupid Gayle.