Optimistic Part 2

This year has been pretty interesting. A lot better so far than last year. Is that sad? But you know after everything I'm very hopeful. I mean things could've ended up a lot worst. So today I'm looking at things with my glass half full. I mean lets talk about my mom's stroke a couple months ago. Things could've been so much worst instead the stroke only effected her eyesight, but she's not completely blind. And she's learning to scan the room better and well getting used to it. Making up for what she's can't see. Which is great. She does have periods where she gets depressed. This is very hard to see because I don't know what to do. I mean I try and think about what if I wasn't able to work and not drive. I mean you have to rely completely on everyone else. And my mother has never been that kinda person. I just try and be there for her as much as I can and help her out.

Now today was actually a pretty good day. I can finally just be done with BC. All because he posted a blog I was able to read. And finally answered the questions I've been asking myself. Normally this would upset someone or make them angry but nope not me, makes me happy. I mean it takes away my confusion. Why wouldn't that make me happy. Instead of asking myself what if? Don't need to anymore. And I've been thinking how I've been wanting a relationship. I don't know so much anymore. I mean I haven't had the best of luck when it comes to guys. Guys that end up "falling" for me, I don't fall for. Guys I end up actually thinking I might really like them doesn't work out. Doesn't even go anywhere. But I'm beginning to think that I wasn't really that into them. I think I need to stop seeing people and just work on myself. There's some things I need to take care of for me. Like my number one is my health. I refuse to get super sick again. So yeah I have my doctors appt coming up and me and my doc are going to come up with a plan. We're going to fix me. Lmao. Plus I think if I'm going to start seeing someone its going to be someone new. Not anyone from the past or that I've been friends with. A fresh start. I do however have a couple people who are interested in me. But one is too young. Other one I dated a long time ago. And one is a great friend that I wouldn't not want to ruin what we have. I rely on him way too much. Then there's probably the guy I should've started dating a while ago, the doctor. But I have too many reasons why I haven't dated him. Distance is one. He lives out by Rockford. Too far but he's a great guy. I've been going to him for a lot until he found out about BC then he was kinda upset with me. So yes I will be taking a break. Working on myself and keep me happy and drama free. And done with all the games guys play.

But for now I'm going to go watch the Hills :).