Done

Of course being done has to do with Davy. It's time to put it all behind me, seriously. He has made it obvious that he only thinks about himself. Normally we talk every day all day, okay maybe not all day but we do text a lot. But here is why I'm upset and believes he only thinks about himself. Friday we texted mainly all morning and afternoon but I knew something was bothering him. He's the type who normally won't tell you whats wrong. He likes to keep it all bottled in. So I kinda just let him be. Meanwhile I had gone to the casino for dinner and my cell phone doesn't work there so I don't get any messages till I leave. He had sent me some text for a google application when I asked him why he never responded. That was it. I didn't hear from him till today and that was after I sent him a message telling him I was done. He had me worried. I know I might sound crazy but its weird when he doesn't message me. And I knew he was driving home yesterday. From Chicago to St. Louis and he always lets me know when he gets home. But I didn't hear anything. So I was seriously worried thinking maybe he got in an accident or something. I even sent him a message Friday night asking him to let me know he was okay. Well today finally around 1pm he tells me he was at the baseball game and happy Easter. That was it. Am I crazy for being upset? I couldn't really sleep last night because I was thinking what if something seriously happened to him. How would I know? It kept me from really even sleeping because I was thinking about these things. So this morning I decided to call his phone just to see if it even on. I figured if his cell is turned on then he's okay if not then I knew it'd worry me. It was turned on so I hung up right away. Then later got that message. Now I'm just bothered about the whole thing. He only thinks about himself. Doesn't think maybe I should let her know I'm home. Oh well like I said I'm done. Sick of it all.

It's been a while....

So it's been ages since I've last posted. I mean here we are already in April 2009 and I haven't posted once this year. An update is necessary. And some major things have happened...

For example, I'm no longer employed. Right now it does suck and I hate not working. However I don't think being laid off was such a terrible thing. I was extremely stressed, unhappy and just plain miserable at work. Traffic didn't help. I really started regretting going back there around December. Foolish me, if I would've never left my last job to go back to them I'd still be working right now. But I can't dwell on that, simply because I wasn't happy at that job either. It wasn't changeling enough for me. I do miss working though. I miss the people who became more like family. Finding a job is a nightmare. Nothing is really out there. I've been searching on these job sites and a lot of them are so discouraging. I mean its hard to tell which jobs are actually legit. (so after typing that word I started singing 2 legit 2 quit, lmao). But to be honest I really have to start trying harder because I will admit that I haven't been putting as much effort into this whole job search like I should be doing. Its hard though, starting someplace new. I was set that when I went back to my old job (one I recently got laid off at) that I would stay there forever. I mean I was great there. I knew how everything worked and I knew how to make things easier and more efficient, I actually got to use my brain and come up with ideas. Okay maybe going into detail and thinking about this more is not the best idea.

Lately though I have not been my bubbly self. I think it has to do with the last few months have just kind of been really shitty. Not terrible I mean I'm alive healthy and breathing. Just it's weird not having a reason to set an alarm. Therefor my new bedtime is normally around 4am. Maybe its the fact I'm stuck with my mom who is still on disability all the time. Or that I'm worried about this whole job thing. I mean unemployment only lasts so long. Watching the news does not help either. I saw something the other day about jobs not going up till 2010. There is no way that I wouldn't be able to work until 2010. I would absolutely lost my mind. There are things I want to do. I'm an adult now. Or how I also saw on the news about this guy who was well qualified and applying for a construction clean up job, he said that he met other applicants there who has master degrees. I'm really hopeful for Obama. I mean so far he's trying to put everything back together. But I'm going to try and stay as positive as I can about everything. I think I'm going to do some volunteering to take up some of my thinking time.