Sunday at Tiffany's

James Patterson is my favorite Author and well if you know anything about him you know he normally writes thriller type books. He only has a few love story ones. Actually only three. So I bought Sunday at Tiffany's the other weekend and finished the book in a couple days (I could've read it in one sitting if only I had the time). But of course it ended up being a great book. Don't think I've read one by him yet that has disappointed me.

Stand by me...

After watching The Hill's tonight it made me think about some things. I know its a stupid show well not really. I like it. But Lauren almost another one of her best friends but they were able to talk things out and didn't give up. Made me think. I miss my best friend. She has always been my other half. However we barely talk anymore. Well more like we never talk anymore. Sometimes I send her a message on myspace to see how she is doing but I feel like she doesn't want to talk. Not really sure why. A couple years ago I basically lived with her but for some reason I don't even remember why we started having problems. She was mad at me for some reason. Probably something stupid. Anyways things haven't been the same since. Even my last couple birthdays. Before we used to spend every birthday together. Last year she didn't even call me. Instead a few days later I logged onto my yahoo messenger and had an offline message from her saying happy birthday. It had really upset me. I just wanted a call. So this last birthday I think I just sent her something on myspace to her. First birthday I didn't go spend with her. But I see she went out with her sister and 2 of her other friends. She never invited me. I've known her since I was 5. I stood up in her sisters wedding last September. Its just all bothering me right now. I miss her family. I know she has a new niece on the way. Her family was my family. But what do I do? Is there even anything I can do? Do I send her a message and just say I miss you? A couple years ago she went away with her family to Honduras so I house sat for her. She was gone for a I think 2 weeks. And so I wouldn't feel alone what she did before she left was wrote a letter for each day she was gone and would hide it somewhere and leave a hint in the current letter. I would look forward to reading my letter every morning. :(. I think I'm making myself a little more sad right now. I actually just feel like crying. I've needed her a lot lately. She wasn't around when my mom got sick. I wanted her to be. Her mom got sick right after that too. Do I try and reach out? What if she just doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Should I be asking her these questions?

Clouded Mind...

Recently I was asked by a guy friend what I was looking for in a guy. So I began to really think what am I looking for? What do I want? Besides all the common things like a nice guy, respectful, funny, charming, playful, etc. All the common things you say to that question. But what I really want besides all that is someone that can just break my shell. What I mean by that is I'm such a reserved person. I hold in a lot especially around someone I like. I want someone who makes me feel at ease. Someone new. A fresh face. Someone who doesn't play stupid childish games. Someone who could bring out a different side of me. So I can stop holding back. So I just have fun with everything. I recently watched this movie sorry I forgot the name, but it was about a guy who recently got dumped and started not being able to sleep. Before I go telling you the whole movie I'll just shorten it up. After going through insomnia he started to freeze time, kinda like daydreaming. Or maybe since he wasn't sleeping time went a lot slower than normal. Anyways he called it freezing time what he did and he ended up finding this girl and he knew she was special and he just thought if he could stop time and bring her to his world she'd understand. I'm the type of person who reads into things probably more than needed. Anyways the way I took this movie is he made it so that nothing else mattered but the two of them. It was pretty amazing. I want that. I want someone I can stop time with. Someone I can let into my world completely. I'm really beginning to wonder if I'll find this. I'm almost 27. Haven't come close to that. But I believe I'll know it when I have it. Stupid as that sounds.

I don't know I'm just really starting to feel alone. I mean I do have my friends that are great and I love and can talk to them about everything and anything. But I don't have that "love". It seems to be bothering me tonight. And I always hear how great I am and my friends and family don't understand why I'm still single. Hmm maybe because people like BC & one before him throw me off track. I need to meet new guys. Just no idea where. I mean seriously not in a bar or anything. Guess Rose and I will be hitting up the book store.