It's been a while....

So it's been ages since I've last posted. I mean here we are already in April 2009 and I haven't posted once this year. An update is necessary. And some major things have happened...

For example, I'm no longer employed. Right now it does suck and I hate not working. However I don't think being laid off was such a terrible thing. I was extremely stressed, unhappy and just plain miserable at work. Traffic didn't help. I really started regretting going back there around December. Foolish me, if I would've never left my last job to go back to them I'd still be working right now. But I can't dwell on that, simply because I wasn't happy at that job either. It wasn't changeling enough for me. I do miss working though. I miss the people who became more like family. Finding a job is a nightmare. Nothing is really out there. I've been searching on these job sites and a lot of them are so discouraging. I mean its hard to tell which jobs are actually legit. (so after typing that word I started singing 2 legit 2 quit, lmao). But to be honest I really have to start trying harder because I will admit that I haven't been putting as much effort into this whole job search like I should be doing. Its hard though, starting someplace new. I was set that when I went back to my old job (one I recently got laid off at) that I would stay there forever. I mean I was great there. I knew how everything worked and I knew how to make things easier and more efficient, I actually got to use my brain and come up with ideas. Okay maybe going into detail and thinking about this more is not the best idea.

Lately though I have not been my bubbly self. I think it has to do with the last few months have just kind of been really shitty. Not terrible I mean I'm alive healthy and breathing. Just it's weird not having a reason to set an alarm. Therefor my new bedtime is normally around 4am. Maybe its the fact I'm stuck with my mom who is still on disability all the time. Or that I'm worried about this whole job thing. I mean unemployment only lasts so long. Watching the news does not help either. I saw something the other day about jobs not going up till 2010. There is no way that I wouldn't be able to work until 2010. I would absolutely lost my mind. There are things I want to do. I'm an adult now. Or how I also saw on the news about this guy who was well qualified and applying for a construction clean up job, he said that he met other applicants there who has master degrees. I'm really hopeful for Obama. I mean so far he's trying to put everything back together. But I'm going to try and stay as positive as I can about everything. I think I'm going to do some volunteering to take up some of my thinking time.