Stand by me...

After watching The Hill's tonight it made me think about some things. I know its a stupid show well not really. I like it. But Lauren almost another one of her best friends but they were able to talk things out and didn't give up. Made me think. I miss my best friend. She has always been my other half. However we barely talk anymore. Well more like we never talk anymore. Sometimes I send her a message on myspace to see how she is doing but I feel like she doesn't want to talk. Not really sure why. A couple years ago I basically lived with her but for some reason I don't even remember why we started having problems. She was mad at me for some reason. Probably something stupid. Anyways things haven't been the same since. Even my last couple birthdays. Before we used to spend every birthday together. Last year she didn't even call me. Instead a few days later I logged onto my yahoo messenger and had an offline message from her saying happy birthday. It had really upset me. I just wanted a call. So this last birthday I think I just sent her something on myspace to her. First birthday I didn't go spend with her. But I see she went out with her sister and 2 of her other friends. She never invited me. I've known her since I was 5. I stood up in her sisters wedding last September. Its just all bothering me right now. I miss her family. I know she has a new niece on the way. Her family was my family. But what do I do? Is there even anything I can do? Do I send her a message and just say I miss you? A couple years ago she went away with her family to Honduras so I house sat for her. She was gone for a I think 2 weeks. And so I wouldn't feel alone what she did before she left was wrote a letter for each day she was gone and would hide it somewhere and leave a hint in the current letter. I would look forward to reading my letter every morning. :(. I think I'm making myself a little more sad right now. I actually just feel like crying. I've needed her a lot lately. She wasn't around when my mom got sick. I wanted her to be. Her mom got sick right after that too. Do I try and reach out? What if she just doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Should I be asking her these questions?