Clouded Mind...

Recently I was asked by a guy friend what I was looking for in a guy. So I began to really think what am I looking for? What do I want? Besides all the common things like a nice guy, respectful, funny, charming, playful, etc. All the common things you say to that question. But what I really want besides all that is someone that can just break my shell. What I mean by that is I'm such a reserved person. I hold in a lot especially around someone I like. I want someone who makes me feel at ease. Someone new. A fresh face. Someone who doesn't play stupid childish games. Someone who could bring out a different side of me. So I can stop holding back. So I just have fun with everything. I recently watched this movie sorry I forgot the name, but it was about a guy who recently got dumped and started not being able to sleep. Before I go telling you the whole movie I'll just shorten it up. After going through insomnia he started to freeze time, kinda like daydreaming. Or maybe since he wasn't sleeping time went a lot slower than normal. Anyways he called it freezing time what he did and he ended up finding this girl and he knew she was special and he just thought if he could stop time and bring her to his world she'd understand. I'm the type of person who reads into things probably more than needed. Anyways the way I took this movie is he made it so that nothing else mattered but the two of them. It was pretty amazing. I want that. I want someone I can stop time with. Someone I can let into my world completely. I'm really beginning to wonder if I'll find this. I'm almost 27. Haven't come close to that. But I believe I'll know it when I have it. Stupid as that sounds.

I don't know I'm just really starting to feel alone. I mean I do have my friends that are great and I love and can talk to them about everything and anything. But I don't have that "love". It seems to be bothering me tonight. And I always hear how great I am and my friends and family don't understand why I'm still single. Hmm maybe because people like BC & one before him throw me off track. I need to meet new guys. Just no idea where. I mean seriously not in a bar or anything. Guess Rose and I will be hitting up the book store.